I have had some very good friends(read aveareya and biff_roco) drive into my head that sometimes you need to just ask for help. I get that but the thing I hate most is being a burden on anyone. This is my frustration. Sorry i am angry right now. I will get past it. I dont like it is all and there is nothing right now I can do to change it seems. Damn.
I am going to bed now. Perhaps if i am lucky i will be struck by lightening in my sleep.