February 22nd, 2002

(no subject)

I am forced to a new and painful experience. Cutting off a friend. I have cut off a friend from his escape from reality...well at least my portion of it any way. Those of you who know..know. those who dont then dont worry about it. Let us say I have a friend who has been out of work for OVER A YEAR!! Rather than doing anything to correct this situation he skipped from one hang out place to the next trying to find diversions from the painful fact his life is in need of fixing. I have been in that place. I know where it takes you. One does deserve a little slack. But after a year contempt is what it brings in me. I like the guy and that is the part that makes his current behavior so irritating. He tells his roomates he is looking for a job then comes over here and plays EQ. I have put my foot down and said that he cant play it on my machine any longer. It seems small. But hey i have to do something to say it aint cool. He is self destructive as hell. He is survivng on the kindness of friends. He has to face the reality that he is so he can turn it around. At least that is my hope. I hope I am not being too much of an ass.

Tech Noir


Are addictions needed by people?

that is a thought that occurred to me today at work. Not chemical adictions. I mean those little things we spend entirely to much money and time on. Those little foxholes which we jump and hide from life in. For me i guess it is my larps. For some it is EQ(or insert your online addictive game of choice). I have known people for whom it was sex, exercise, fighting. For some it is drugs or alchohol. My dad's was alchohol. He needed it to make life easier. His addiction killed him.

I just wonder what it is aboout us that makes escape from reality so damn important? I have tried on occassion to keep from falling in to my escapes. Sometimes I have failed. I was so busy trying to make time for larps I let my real life suffer for it. When I should have spent my days working my ass off I would take a weekend off and go to a game I couldn't afford without help from my friends. I should have spent more time working and earning money as much as anything to pay some folks who did help me out back. It doesn't matter that alot of these games I played little or nothing to get into them. I should have dealt with live but I didn't

I pulled out of course. The smart ones do. I just wish i knew why we do that. Is the real world that terrible? My hardest times I had no escape for I got to escape the irritating but not the truely tough times in my life. Who knows why have them. It is I suppose a good thing that we do. Maybe we would all go nuts otherwise. Do really crazy things like dress up in home made clothing and chase our friends down with plumbing supplies....oh wait....hmmm...never ming. My bad.

Slaying his own unicorns