February 25th, 2006

best mage smack talk ever.

I am capable of rearranging the fundamental building blocks of the universe in under six seconds with enough time left over to move 30 feet. I am capable of manipulating matter and energy on a subatomic level by speaking. A mere flick of my finger is sufficient to alter the gravitational pull of the planet. I shelve physics texts under "fiction" in my personal library! I concider th laws of thermodynamics loose guidelines at best! In short , i am grasping the reigns of the universe carriage, and every morning I wake up, look to the heavens, and shout "Giddy up, boy!" You may never grasp the complexities of what i do, but at least have the courtesy to feign something other than slack-jawed oblivion in my presence. I sir am a wizard, and i break more natural laws before breakfast than which you are even aware!

Vaarsuvius from the order of the stick.

a little less humor in the world today.


Don Knotts, TV's Lovable Nerd, Dies at 81

LOS ANGELES, Feb. 25, 2006

(AP) Don Knotts, the skinny, lovable nerd who kept generations of television audiences laughing as bumbling Deputy Barney Fife on "The Andy Griffith Show," has died. He was 81.

Knotts died Friday night of pulmonary and respiratory complications at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Beverly Hills, said Paul Ward, a spokesman for the cable network TV Land, which airs "The Andy Griffith Show," and another Knotts hit, "Three's Company."

Unspecified health problems had forced him to cancel an appearance in his native Morgantown in August 2005.

The West Virginia-born actor's half-century career included seven TV series and more than 25 films, but it was the Griffith show that brought him TV immortality and five Emmies.