June 21st, 2006

and now for something completely different.

first get the diet stuff out of the way. My way of keeping me honest. The number of calories I am told to shoot for depending on the guage is 2936. This is to reflect the goal I have to loose a little under 2 pounds a week. Today i am at 2,186 roughly. Harder to guage the calories on them home cooked meals.I am trying to walk some more. I keep meaning to go to the new gym and I have been there to look around but god I dread the place. Or rather i dread working out alone. Nothing worse than beeing the lone fat man in a gym. It is just bad. If you have not been there I cant explain it. I know I need to go. I want to get back into it but I always get frustrated and eventually stop and I honestly dont know how to fix that.

now on to other things.

I watched a really quite good movie called Crash. If you have not seen this movie I recomend it. To the detractors of my movie taste yes it has some sadness in it but it is beautiful film and worth watching. So anyway the subject of the film is race and how it effects people in LA in particular and maybe everywhere. It is pretty well written and very well acted. But this did accomplish what I am sure the director wanted. It made me start thinking about race. I have always been raised to believe that race did not matter. This had actually led to some unfortunate experiences growing up in the south(big surprise i know). The question I ask is how free of prejudice am I? How free of prejudice is anyone? I have had friends who are smart, reasonable, and usually open minded argue the most racist crap and all the while saying things like "but dont get me wrong some (insert your minority here) are my friends and I dont have a problem with them." These are not bad guys. they are not malicious and mean. They think the kkk is a bunch twits. But in private they will say such stupid garbage and not even relize it.

I dont know anyway thats where my head is at tonight.