So in case anyone was interested this is my Grandma! She had an amazing life and this is one of the reasons why I am having a hard time accepting what has happened to her.
for what it is worth due to a fluke I was not put on the schedule for tommorrow I was going to go in anyway, but I am thinking of instead going and helping out at the hospital. That and maybe due some cleaning around my room as mom is coming in wensday. I dont know. I will decide in the morning.
Today i spent most of the day with grandma. She was worse today than yesterday. She kept trying to pull her iv out and get up and leave. never mind she cant walk and or even sit up right now. When I try and stop her she says horrible things to me and even tried to bite me at one point. She is sad and scared. She tells me she does nto want to stay there and become a vegitable. She breaks me and my aunt when she asks if it is not to much trouble she would like to go home now. GRandpa on the other hand the heaver drinker he is has not been drinking near as anyone can tell. He came by the hospital and looked at her with a tenderness I have never seen. He is a hard man, with a quick anger most of the time. Loving is not something most would apply to him. Yet when he looks at her I think he sees the woman he fell in love with more than 50 years ago. He has insisted on cooking dinner for me and mom when she comes in tommorrow and one does not decline an imperial command. Laura is taking off tommorrow so I should not need to take off work. Thats good I suppose but I feel a bit guilty. Oh well thanks to everyones kind wishes. I have not given up hope she will get better but I am pretty shaken while dealing with her. The part that turned the knife for me when laura and I had to leave was we had to place a restaint on one of her arms so she could not pull out the iv while we were away.