"Most of you reading these rules are familiar with role playing; your older brother was "into" it in high school, some of your friends said they "did" it in their basement when their parents were away on vacation in Chippawa Falls, your Uncle Jerry got "sentenced to twenty with no parole" for it a couple of years back, or perhaps you've been tempted by the magazines and odd paraphernalia on the dust-blanketed shelves of a comic book store. You've even seen "gamers" in school, standing in strange cabalistic knots in the corner of the lunchroom, chirping giddily about the mysteries of "petrification saves." Watching them, you were frightened, disgusted, yet secretly longing to understand, if only to find out what "Thieves Cant" was.
Well, no longer need you live in fear of becoming a universally loathed, shambling social pariah. Now you may at last feel free to join them, because not only has gaming recently achieved astonishing new heights of popularity, there is one game almost everybody plays: FREEBASE.
Who do we mean by "everybody"? We mean everybody. Your friends. Your family. The postman. Look in the next room. See your mom there? She's playing. Do you think she'd let you live here for three years past when you quit college if she wasn't waiting for you to figure it out? Think about it. We've all been waiting for you. Join us. We can't play without you. "